House

I am moving!!!!

tomorrow!!!!!

I have a 'stop gap' house, until 'Smallest House In The World' is built. So that I have a chance of writting 5000 words in 10 days I have decided to go tomorrow and then I can just sit and type without worrying.

Fantasticly, although unsuprisingly, Friends have just dropped everything and offered time, energy and any help I need to get me and Small in.

Laa-Laa arives first thing tomorrow to 'do her thang' My Mum G.J, and Hugh are moving all our stuff in horse boxes.
The house felt like home as soon as I walked into it. Its sunny and feels safe, and most importantly for me there is space for ALL of us.

Me. Small. Stinky. And even has a cat flap so that Jemima and Poggle can come too.
I know to some having space for me and Small should be enough. But Stinky is a big part of my life and security(....even though she would rather die than have to actually be used as a guard dog...she barks a good bark then wets herself with fear!!)

So, until I am on line again...and I dont know when that will be...hopefully quickly...goodbye!!!

I will speak you all when we are in our new house!!!


loveyoubye xx

Wrong.

Today was a first for me. I got stopped by the police!!!

I was on my phone!!! With a police car driving behind me. ....just how blonde am I???

£30 fine later, and my tyres checked and having been told that a have a brake light out the police man left.

Now, I am so in the wrong I havent got a defense. I lecture others on driving while on the phone, especially if they have children in the car (Small wasnt with me...) and I honestly thought that you could drive and be on the phone at the same time and you could still drive effectively.

Wrong. So very wrong. the 'nice policeman' had his lights on and then used his siren before I noticed him... (really!)

So I shall have to find my hands free kit that I should have been using in the first place, so that
a) I am safer
b) I dont get stopped again.

I cant believe how wrong I was. (and I reaaallllly hate that!)

lybxx

"tagged"

At Ilya's request......(and Rogeroo's!)

I am: at my desk, writing this...(should be doing essay!!)

I want: a cup of coffee. (obviously world peace, cure for cancer, a good result in my degree, be kate moss-like, perminant lip gloss and more shoes!)

I wish: the above were true

I hate: hypocrasy and my feet.

I miss: my grandparents and Lizzie.

I fear: heights, flying, death and anything happening to Small

I hear: birds and sunshine (yes I can hear the sunshine!!)

I wonder: all the time

I regret: being an arse sometimes.

I am not: stupid (despite what others might think, and possibly the impression I give them.)

I dance: when I feel the need to hear very loud music, with friends and until my feet bleed!

I sing: In the car

I cry: more often than I used to

I am not always: the person others think i am.

I made: Small!

I write: Essays, this blog, notes in class and text messages.

I confuse: how I think it should be, and how it really is.

I need: Small.

I should: be doing my essay

I start: not always at the beginning!

I finish: when I'm ready damn-it!



lybxx

People Power

I have always had a bit of an issue with people not 'standing up to be counted'.

You know what I mean, mostly people say something but when push comes to shove they disappear muttering under their breath.

Well not this woman!

Today, after much diliberation I put in a formal complaint about twat face, the lecturer with no interpersonal, questionable proffesional skills.
He belittled me in front of 50 other students the other day....about my pencil case!!!!...went on at some length about what he thought about it and how that reflected on me. (its see-through, plain, with tiny Daisy's on it) none of it was complimentary.
Enough. To put me down about my inteligance in criminology is one thing, and sometimes he is quite correct to do it, but a personal attack about my pencil case??? Please!!!

So I wrote about 1000 words of complaint with the head of student services today about all the unprofessional things he has done and sent it to the Dean. I have assureances from all the heads of departments that I need to have that he will not be marking any of my essays from now on, and I think the quote was from three of them "this was just what we hoped would happen"....clearly things were already going on that I knew nothing about.

Anyway when I mentioned to a friend what I had done, she said she wanted to sign it too.
In the end 6 other students signed the statement with me.

I was really suprised.

Firstly that I could make a complaint.
Secondly that I was helped to make it by a lovely lady in Student Services who was fantastic at her job and assured me it wasnt all 'just in my head' but a genuine complaint that was going to be taken seriously, backed up by other heads of department who looked delighted that at last someone was doing something, everytime someone complains about twat face (and there have been alot of people) they are told to go to student services, who say 'do you want to make a formal complaint?'...everyone else said 'no'....this lady...she say 'yes!' .
And lastly by other people standing up and being counted.

It gives me back some faith in human nature.

(however, for the rest of the day I was addressed as Sir Alan!)


lybxx

'The Others'

In our lives how much do other people's opinions matter to us?

I guess that depends on each person individualy. For some, the thought of not receiving approval from their peers and family is horrifing. Their lives are lived seeking that approval, and will change what they want to do depending on the thoughts morals and opinions of those held round them, rather than what they actually think themselves.

For others the thoughts and getting approval of others isnt at all important. They live their lives dependant on what they believe and want.

Does this depend on age? I think it does. When you are young you are led by your peers and it takes a very strong individual to go their own way and not follow the crowd. As you get older you have more belief in your self and your values and so can make decisions on your own and know that they are right for you, independantly of what your family and friends think.

I also think that friends and family 'back off' as you get older, and my experiance is that they mostly only give advise when asked, or when I am about to make a huge mistake and they cant keep their mouths shut, but in situations such as these, you mostly know what your doing is not the most sensible thing to do, and although you can find justification for it, deep down it just doesnt work. You can cover this up for as long as you like, but I think if you know yourself well enough then eventually you do the right thing.

So, the question I am asking myself this morning is 'In my life right now, am I making the right decisions?'

I have pondered this quietly for a month or so. And although I have already made note of the justifications people make about their lives, I have to say that there is not one thing I would change. Obviously there are things that are going to be difficult in the coming months. But the outcome is one that I welcome.

My living situation is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but that will sort itself out soon, and I am soooo excited about it.
My friends are the best anyone could wish for.
My family is fantastic. They are quietly supportive and noisily loving.
School is nearly over for the summer(....4 months off!!!) and i cant wait to be bored!
Mr W. is around. Grin

So in the vein that seems to be running throughout this posting and previous ones at the moment is....HORRAY!!!!


lybxx

Twinkley lights

Yesterday, Mr Whippy and I had plans to go to the sea-side for an ice cream.(is that just funny to me??!)
It had been such glorious weather wednesday, thursday and friday that the reality that it was miserable and rainy yesterday was a bit of a suprise. And we didnt actually set off till about 7pm. ....so dark and wet then!

We went to a port that is very busy. In front of us was a wide almost river of sea, that the container ships come into the port on, so that we weren't deafened by the machinary, but could only hear it in the distance.

We sat for ages, talking, putting the world to rights and catching up and watching the cranes and enormous, really enormous container ships in dock being unloaded. The lights were really pretty. Twinkley and almost christmassy fairy lights, what with them being quite a way away. (and with the weather it could almost have been december!)

I have never been to a major container port before, and was quite impressed by it....not sure I want to go often, I prefer daytime sunny rockpooling to be honest, but last night was fantastic.
Soft rain, the smell of the sea, lights illuminating the cranes unloading ships, good company and the promise of an huge whiskey when we got back.

lybxx

Blade Update.

I havent written about old Poo Face for ages. There are a number of reasons why not. Mainly because I dont want to think about it!

He went and had scans on his leg. The vet...he say no.

His ligament in his leg is really badly damaged. He can be ridden for another six months.

Whether or not it was nearly fixed while he was on box rest and then went out in the field and all the scampering about he did shrek two stylie, made it worse than it was originally no-one knows.

I went to see him this morning after Small had riden. He had gotten fat with all the non-charging-about-while-being-riden he has had. He was really pleased to see me though, which was nice and only threatened to kill me once, when he found out I had no polo's in my pocket. But he stood for ages when I had my arms round his neck with his head down my back and his nose 'waffleing' on me. (obviously he was pulling faces, but I couldnt see them!)

I am so gutted I cant talk about it.

lybxx

Comfort Zones

This weekend I have to write a presentation for monday. It has to be 15 minutes long.

Not a problem?...well no, except delivering the presentation make me physically shake (so viewers can see me shaking) and my voice go all funny...which has suprised me. Before I presented for the first time I thought I would love to have the opportunity to stand up and have all the attention whilst talking. However the reality was very different!

In class I can talk for england (shocker!!) using quotes and theorists that I have stored somewhere in the back of my brain, but this is sitting down. I think its the standing up in front of the class thing. Maybe I should fake an injury to my leg so I have to sit down!!

Anyway, this presentation is titled "Once a paedophile......." not the best title for me I'm afraid! ...And I have to put forward the rehabilitaition and statistics about paedophiles that dont go on to reoffend, but become valueable members of society.
hmmmmmm....now I have done loads of research, and its actually quite interesting (once 'mother-head' is taken off) and I am quite getting into it (figuratively!!) especially articles and research about why paedophiles become what they are and the processes and stages they go through.

This is realy wayyyy outside my comfort zone. The whole thing is. Giving the presentation and the subject. I will do it because I am marked on it, and have found it interesting to learn about.

Do you think I can offer as treatment for paedophiles my island?
grin

lybxx

Spreading the Good News.

Is it me, or are most people happy at the moment?

Yes, there are some of us that have major events happening at the moment...essays/exams/weddings etc...but thinking about it there isnt a single one of my friends that isnt very happy, or at least 'putting a brave face on things'.

Is it the weather? I think that has to have some effect on people, but is it enough to make folk look like they have coat-hangers in their mouths?
Is it because I am happy, so therefore cant/dont want to/ see unhappiness in other people? (I hope not)
Is it because alot of my friends have come out the other side of problems and saddnesses, having dealt with them and are now moving on stronger and more cheerful?

Whatever it is, I am delighted, and long may it continue.

lybxx

Vegtables

Laa-Laa and I made a vegtable garden this weekend. Well, thats not entirely true. We payed her teenage sons to dig and weed the plot (if you've got them, use them!) and then she and I went to the garden centre for her to choose what she wanted.

She now has in pride of place in her garden cabbages. Tomatoes, cherry and bigger ones. Runner beans. Carrots. Courgette and lettuces. Her middle son wanted a cuccumber plant, so we got that as well. It looks fantastic, and I have made the slightly rash and sweeping statement that she will always grow her own once she has tasted her own produce.

We had lots of rain during the night and the little seedlings and plants will have loved it. I cant wait to see how much they have grown next time I go and see Laa-Laa. The rest of her garden is looking so beautiful, pretty flowers and soft lines and all bursting with different colours shapes and textures.

I hope my next garden looks half as good as hers does now.


lybxx

F.o.G.A.

I went to see G.C.D on sunday. He bought a house ages ago, and invited me to tea and biscuits and it just didnt happen. However, on saturday I had a G.C.D. moment and texted him quite early to see if he was up and receiving guests.

His house is really lovely. It suits him...you know when something does? He has things in his house that belong to other members of my family originaly and seeing them again made the house feel familiar and comforting. He also has a really really joyful picture of my grandmother and his sister which I hadnt seen before.

I talk to G.C.D. when, and I hate to admit this, when I need to. As the Font of Good Advice with a very busy life he and I dont actually talk very much.
I go to him with big things that I havent made a decision about, or nearly have and I want a no-nonsence boys opinion. He always says things I havent concidered and although lets me make my own mind up he sometimes...well nearly always...pushes me in the right direction.

So, as always, he let me witter on about rubbish (shocker!) and quietly sat there waiting for me to talk about bigger stuff. Which I did. And I left feeling more decided.

Do you ever have something happen that you couldnt engineer? While I was talking to him a song came on the radio in the background. I commented on it, as bizaarly it added to the conversation that we were having. What I didnt tell him was that the next song that was played really freaked me out.
Another friend of mine was talking reciently about 'signs'. How, if you want an answer to something or want a 'sign' about something that you are not sure about, then you ask for it. I'm not entirely sure who your asking (!) but anyway, you dont look for an answer but keep yourself open to it. (can you sence some skepticism?)
Anyway, I tried it. I asked a question a week ago. To be honest I had forgotten all about it. And then At G.C.D.'s house while we were talking these songs were played on the radio. One of them is played fairly often, its a bit cheesy and girls sing along to it. The other one, the one that made me freak out, I have never heard played before. I havent even heard the songwritter sing any of this songs on this local radio station. They were played back to back and to be honest they dont go together well.
To me they did. In character I am a sarcastic skeptical doubter of all things I dont understand, but this literally jumped out of the radio and slapped me one the face and said 'you wanted a sign....here you go'

So now what? Do I ask for signs all the time? ...its not really 'me'. I think I will prolly keep this story for dinner parties because this stuff makes me feel uncomfortable and uneasy, I know lots of people that would love this, and each to their own, but I'm not sure about it. Maybe I need to open my mind a bit. Maybe I need to concider things not thought about before. I dont know.

What I do know is that G.C.D. and these songs made a difference to my sunday.


lybxx